I haven’t finished writing a poem in a long time Sure I start them But when I get to the end My heart gives out I’m a car that’s used up its hour of gas Maybe it’s a lack of inspiration That’s slowly snaking around these anxious, paralyzed tires Turning me to rust And making nights forever long Maybe it’s fear Doubt Maybe my rhythm has failed me Misstep heart beating in broken time Rhyme used to come so naturally But I’m a graveyard Here lies confusion Here lies the lost idea What did I say? What did I mean? When did I stop feeling my own pulse in my wrist? I’ve unthreaded all my sentences and I’m drowning in flow Unable to feel anything under my skin I used to clench my fists and bleed over echoing microphones I used to tear out my heart And hold it over my head for my friends to see My words used to belong to me But now each letter is a puzzle I can’t solve I’m unraveling And I can’t think of a word that rhymes with “solve” I can't sit and think about anything that matters My brain just melts and my mouth just laughs My eyes just cry and my soul just yearns This is something else somehow I’ve unlearned And my tongue grows numb like it was stung by millennial bees Does that make sense? I’ve grown tired of waiting for the right thing to say Nothing makes sense anyway Right? Should I just go home? Should I just take a break? Maybe my head will finally stop aching And maybe, finally, I can sit down and finish-
Ronnie Toone 